forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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