Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The uberlube is also flammable
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
