We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
