please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize