The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
