I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
