I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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