worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
