You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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