new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize