My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
