what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
