Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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