All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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