I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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