when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
