He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
