some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize