Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
