At least make sure they are 18
Why
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
