I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
