Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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