I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
