i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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