i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
