And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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