Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
