I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
