Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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