tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
