i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
