I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
