found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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