We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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