Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
