I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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