Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sweet8 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together

Fav 21 4296 923
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard

Fav 16 5407 805
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave

Fav 6 2534 990
share tweet
(760): View more from California

if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel

Fav 6 3376 1516
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy

Fav 5 1811 856
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game

Fav 13 1931 912
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.

(540): View more from Virginia

you also need to get my treadmill fixed.

Fav 7 1160 739
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck

Fav 2 193 318
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body

Fav 0 22 43
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT