yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
