you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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