He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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