I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
