I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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