somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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