The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
honey bunches of taint.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
