i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What a dumb baby whore.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize