Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
