I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
