today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
