Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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