remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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