I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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