Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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