Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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