Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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