yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
