I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize