I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
