i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
