why didn't you poke me back
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
