There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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