Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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