Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
