It was confusing and full of hummus
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
