so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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