There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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