We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We need to get me chipped asap
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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