Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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