ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
