How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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