Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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