that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
