I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
