he shaved USA in his pubs
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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